Anabatic
by monkeyCsaw
Summary: Sato Akane has always been defined as one thing: a civilian. Given the chance to prove herself to the legendary Haruno Sakura, she works hard to become the greatest medic nin the world has ever seen. She is drawn into a world of war, blood, and fulfillment. A medic nin's world.
1. Chapter 1

First Naruto fic. This is kinda a side-project so don't get too mad if updates aren't on a regular basis heh. Reviews are greatly appreciated! (originally titled _Initiates_, edited and re-posted).

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**Chapter 1**

This wasn't happening.

Well it was, but she still thought that if she blinked enough times she'd wake up back at camp, the dull green of her tent assuring her that it was a normal, if hot, morning.

But no matter how many times her eyelids fell and rose, she was still here. Pieces of bark were still assailing her face and she was still choking on dirt and a few feet away lay a mangled body she didn't dare look at.

The blood was everywhere. Soaking the ground. On her gloves and arms. In the air, still falling, dripping from the leaves overhead.

She found that she could barely move her fingers. Nothing was responding. The footsteps and jeers were drawing closer and closer and all she could do was lay there like a doll. Something burned in her chest, something red. A familiar scent filled her entire being and she closed her eyes as memories stroked her face, her body, relaxing her, preparing her.

She knew she was going to die. It was as sure a thing as the color of her hair. As sure a thing as the blood pouring from the wound in her side. If she tried hard enough, she could probably heal herself. Probably. And she could probably heal the broken ribs and arm. But she had given up on moving and she lay there wishing she could give up on breathing. She was a lit candle with limited oxygen. She had always known it. But it still stung that it was so easy for her to give up. To just lay there and accept her death. She turned her head ever so slowly in the direction of the bloodied corpse. All she could see was a heap of limbs turned at unnatural angles and too many kunai embedded in its skin. She couldn't see the eyes. She was glad. She hated the way eyes looked in death. Like a sky without any blue in it.

The bark had finally stopped falling. The explosion had knocked a massive tree over just to her left. A few more feet and she would have been crushed beneath it.

The enemy moved even closer and she knew she had seconds, maybe a minute, before they saw her and ended it. Ended everything.

She squeezed her eyes shut and, ignoring the god-forsaken pain that pulsed through every bone in her body, she went back. She went back to the beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch. 2 up in just fifteen minutes heh well what can I say. I had this pre-written though, so whatevs. Don't expect Ch. 3 to come so quickly. Review please!

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**Chapter 2**

Breakfast was a silent affair. Akane pretended she didn't notice her mother's sullen glares or her brother's nervous twitches. She pretended not to notice the way every sound seemed too loud. At last, her brother, her beautiful, blessed brother, ended the silence.

"Aka-chan…are you sure?"

She sucked in a deep breath. _Are you sure? _She had never been more sure about anything in her life. Not when she had begged her mother to allow her to attend the Academy. Not when she had triumphantly corrected Iruka-sensei that one time on dispelling genjutsu. Not even when she wrote her five page report on why she was choosing what she choosing. Her hands trembled, she was so damn _sure_. If she heard one more person ask that silly question she was going to hurl a rock at their face. Except not really. She'd just smile and nod and pretend that inside she wasn't itching to show them just how _sure _she was.

"Takeshi," she answered after a few moments. Her brother raised his eyebrow at the use of his full name. His bright blue eyes were surprisingly neutral when she raised her own hazel ones to meet them. She knew he'd support her, if coldly and in his own reserved, awkward way. Her mother, on the other hand, was going to go berserk. "I'm sure."

Sato Kazuki slammed her mug of tea down onto the table, spilling some of it on her just barely wrinkled hands. She didn't seem to mind that the hot beverage was burning her skin as she glared at her daughter, eyes narrowed. "Sato Akane I will not have you disrespect me like this," she said in a low, chilling voice. Akane flinched back before she straightened, smoothing her hair back and clasping her hands together tightly beneath the table.

"Mom, I'm doing this for Father. He would have wanted me to do this."

"Don't tell me what your father would and wouldn't have wanted! He wanted you to live a long, happy life, Akane! He didn't want you to throw it away to follow some deluded dream of becoming the greatest medic nin there ever was. You won't survive to see 20!"

"Mother," Takeshi interrupted softly. "Becoming a shinobi doesn't mean automatic death. She's made it this far, hasn't she?"

"And how long until her luck runs out?" their mother snapped, turning her angry gaze on her son. There was grief in the way her shoulders curled inward, and fear in her now wide, wide eyes. "How long until I lose the only daughter I have?" A sob tore its way from her throat and Akane half rose, unsure of what to do.

"Mother," she began hesitantly. She didn't quite know how to say it but she knew what she wanted to say. "I'm going to make you proud, whether I live or die. And if I die, it will be with the utmost honor. I'll have died protecting my village and my family."

"How can you be so selfish?" her mother whispered, wringing her hands. Some gray hairs had fallen from her tight bun and she flicked them out of the way impatiently so she could look up at her daughter. Hazel met hazel and for a moment Akane saw herself in her mother's wizened face. And then the moment was gone and her mother was slumping down in her chair, resting her head in her hands.

"I…" she trailed off, not sure what to say.

Her mother waved her off tiredly. "Go," she rasped. "Let me finish my tea in peace. Takeshi and I will discuss this."

Said brother offered her a weak smile and she could only blink in return. She stood, grabbing her dishes and placing them gently in the sink, afraid that any sudden loud noise would give her mother a heart attack.

She walked upstairs to her room silently and collapsed onto her bed, mind spinning. She knew exactly what she wanted and exactly what to do to get it.

She had it all planned out. And she also planned to make her father proud. His only regret, he had always said, was that he had not been brave enough to choose the path of a shinobi. Tears pricked at Akane's eyes. If he had been a shinobi, perhaps he would still be alive.

Sleep somehow claimed her and before she knew it noon had come and with it, her brother and lunch.

"I whipped up some miso soup," he called through the door. She rose and opened it, granting him access. He stood with a tray that held two bowls, his mouth twitching into a tentative smile. He sat across from her on her bed and she gratefully accepted the steaming bowl, careful to blow on her spoonful before taking a sip.

"So," she began quietly after she had taken a few mouthfuls. He sat there watching her, his own bowl untouched on the tray between them.

He ran a hand through his red hair, and that's how she knew that the news was good. "I managed to talk her into it. She's currently praying to all of our ancestors that you see the error of your ways and decide against it but she gave it her blessing. You can sign up for the program."

Precisely ten minutes later she was bolting across the village rooftops, wind snatching at her breath as she sprinted for the hospital. When she arrived, gasping, she wasted no time in entering and making straight for the receptionist.

"I'm here for the intern application."

The woman blinked, reaching over and pulling a form from a pile to her right. "You're early," she remarked. Akane grinned, seizing the form and offered pen, filling the boxes out with zeal. "In fact, you're the first. We just opened up the applications this morning."

"Well, early bird gets the worm, you know," Akane said, hardly paying attention. She had been waiting for this moment for weeks. When she was finished, she handed the form and pen back, smiling even more broadly. "Thanks!" she chirped before turning and colliding with a solid mass of human.

She yelped, taking a step back and bumping into the desk. "S-sorry! My m-m-mistake," she stammered as she looked at the person's chest, refusing to meet his stare. And it was a he from the flatness and broadness of his chest.

"Just watch where you're stepping next time," a curt, definitely male, voice answered. She moved aside quickly, keeping her gaze trained on the floor as she rushed outside. Once under the direct sunlight, she thrust her fist in the air, index finger stretched to sky.

She ignored the stares directed her way and sauntered on over to the market, which was only a ten minute walk from the hospital. Once there, she bought some pears and continued on her way to the east side of the village. Arriving at a quaint little one-story house with a white fence and recently mowed lawn, she pushed the gate open with practiced ease and let herself in with a spare key hidden under the flower pot on the windowsill to the right of the door.

"Ko-chan," she called as she entered, slipping out of her shoes and peering through a doorway on the left. The kitchen was spacious and clean. Its single occupant, a short, brown haired girl, looked up from the paper she had been reading. She smiled and raised a hand in greeting.

"Aka-chan, what a surprise," her friend said, rising and embracing her friend. Akane returned the hug eagerly, fully intending to make up for lost time. She hadn't seen her best friend for over a month.

Akane handed her friend a pear before taking a seat, sliding the paper over so she could read it. It was a report on an information retrieval mission from last year. "So," she began, taking a huge bite of her pear. "I applied today."

Riko dropped her pear. "Your mother?" she gasped.

"Took her a while but she gave her blessing after talking to Takeshi."

"Aka-chan, that's great!" she squealed, hugging her friend once more and actually lifting her off the ground. "I just know you'll get in!"

Akane grinned her thanks, taking another bite of her pear. She gestured toward the report questioningly, quirking an eyebrow. Riko sighed heavily, sitting down in her chair once more.

"We're going on an information retrieval mission next week and sensei suggested I prepare. So I've been reading up on past missions, to see what can go wrong and what the best strategies are for certain situations."

"You just got back though," Akane said, frowning. Riko smiled ruefully and Akane understood. It was all a part of being a shinobi. But that didn't mean she had to like it.

The friends ate and chatted for a good hour before Akane rose and decided she should get going. She had cleaning to do and entrance exams to study for.

"I'm proud of you, Akane," Riko smiled and Akane couldn't help the grin that tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"Me, too."

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A week later, the written exams were held. Akane spent a good ten hours studying every day, coffee becoming her constant companion. Her mother looked on with resigned disapproval and her brother merely handed her a cup of coffee every morning without her asking. He ran the family store with their mother, so she didn't really see him that often throughout the day. She was usually shut up in her room reading with an intensity that could burn a page.

On the day of the test, Akane inhaled her breakfast, pulled on her pre-planned clothes, and was out the door fifteen minutes early. She was the first to arrive so she managed to choose a spot near a window. Though warm outside, the hospital was quite chilly. She pulled on her dark blue cardigan and began taking her supplies out, making sure one last time that her pens were nowhere near empty.

She looked up when the door opened and a young man stepped through. His light brown hair was messy, the kind of look that was done on purpose. He scanned the room with blue eyes for a few moments before taking a seat in the back, two seats directly behind her. Akane tried to ignore the unsettling sensation that he was staring at her without success.

Twenty minutes later, the room was full with at least 100 hopefuls and the proctors had entered. Akane looked around, knowing that there would be at least 50 cuts. Only the top 50 scores made it. The thought was terrifying.

A middle-aged woman gave the usual list of rules before handing out the exam. Akane sucked in a deep breath before lunging in.

An hour and a half later, a quiet rustle interrupted her racing thoughts. The man who had entered right after her got up, turned his exam in, and left, all done quietly. Akane clenched her teeth, returning to her exam. _I can't let him beat me. _

Twenty minutes later she was done as well and she stood to turn her work in. Her peers glared at her through glasses and fuzzy eyes, some sucking down some coffee to keep them going. She walked out of the room on shaking legs, making her way outside and forcing herself to suck in a few long, deep breaths. It felt like her life was starting all over again.

When she got home, her mother was waiting for her, hands held in front of her. "How did it go?" she asked, keeping her voice carefully neutral.

"I think it went pretty well," Akane answered, shoving her shoes to the side. "There were some chemistry questions that threw me off but other than that, I think I have a good shot."

Her mother nodded, pursed her lips, then turned around and left. The young girl knew that it was the only acknowledgement she would get.

Her brother was slightly more expressive, giving her a tired smile and ruffling her hair affectionately. "Do us proud, Aka-chan."

Five days later she received her results.

She had made it. She had made it into the top 50 from approximately 148 possible students. She cheered and hugged her brother and Riko and was even happy when all her mother did was give her a small, tense smile.

Akane woke up on her first day with a strange sense of completion. She was far from done but at the same time, she felt as though her life was over and starting again all at the same time.

She was, surprisingly, not the first to arrive. About twenty other students hovered around the tables, talking in hushed voices to each other, their cups of coffee still steaming. Akane chose a seat in the front close to the window, one of the only window seats available.

"I don't suppose you'd be willing to trade?" a young woman joked, sliding into the seat to the right of her. Akane shook her head, blushing ever so slightly. The woman tossed her long bright blonde hair over one shoulder and turned to face Akane, sticking her hand out. "The name's Tsukino Moe."

Akane took the woman's hand gently. "Sato Akane."

Moe grinned. Before she could say anything else, however, the door was slammed open and the Chief of Medicine made her appearance.

Haruno Sakura was not a tall or curvaceous woman. But she was pretty. Her pink hair was swept back into a short ponytail while her bangs framed her face. Her teal eyes swept over her suddenly quiet students for a brief moment before a smile relaxed her face.

"Welcome. I want to congratulate you on passing your initial exams. You are the top of your class and someday you will be the elite of the elite." She went on to explain the four rules that governed medic nin's lives and what their duties would consist of. She brushed upon the many different branches they could choose. Finally, she ended her lecture on a positive note: "This year, I will be choosing at best three apprentices to serve directly under me. It will more than likely be two. And before you ask, having the top score does not mean you automatically receive the position. I will be keeping my eye on you through your year- long training and those few who stand out will have the honor of being my apprentice. Now, good luck, and study hard."

She turned around and left, her white coat gleaming under the hospital light.

A few minutes later an older man entered, his gray hair in a neat, low ponytail tied at the nape of his neck. He beckoned to them and the students rose hesitantly, shooting each other nervous looks. He sighed.

"I am Takahashi Kaede, your teacher. You may call me Hashi-sensei. Now, I will be taking you on a tour of the hospital before beginning your first lecture. You may want to take something to write with; the hospital is rather large and confusing."

Akane grabbed a small blue notebook and pen before hurrying after Moe and the rest of the students. She found herself wedged between her new blonde friend and the same man from the exams, the one who had beaten her in finishing the test. She looked up nervously, not quite sure how to approach a stranger. She'd never been particularly outgoing.

"H-hi," she finally managed to say, quietly, timidly. He looked down at her and narrowed his eyes. She tried to straighten her shoulders under his piercing gaze. "I'm Sato Akane. What's your name?"

He observed her for a good thirty seconds before answering. His voice was low and he talked fast, almost too fast to be understood. "Kimura Yuuki. Be silent, Hashi-sensei is speaking."

Akane obeyed immediately, turning to face their teacher as he led them down hallways, past doors and elevators. She desperately scribbled notes on her pad, trying to keep up with her teacher's quick introductions and explanations. She didn't attempt to draw her neighbor into conversation again.

That evening, she walked home with Moe, who ended up only living a block away at the apartment building down the street. The taller blonde girl chattered on about who she thought was cute for a few minutes before turning to Akane, a devilish smile on her face.

"So, I noticed you trying to make conversation with Yuuki-san."

Akane laughed nervously, running a hand through her bright red hair. "Tried is the operative word. I don't think he likes me very much."

"I wouldn't worry. He doesn't like anyone very much. He's very focused on his studies."

"Do you know him?" she asked, surprised.

Moe flashed her a white toothed grin. "He's my cousin, on my mom's side. He lives in the same apartment building as me but I only see him at class. He spends most of his time studying and cleaning, so I wouldn't bother trying to seduce him."

Akane flushed a deep scarlet. "S-s-seduce hi-him?" she stammered, nearly dropping her notebook. Moe laughed, throwing her head back and letting her hair fall down her back.

"Just a joke, Aka-chan!" she teased. Akane breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"Don't get me wrong, he's v-very attractive, I-I just-"

Moe burst out laughing again. "Really, I know. I was just messing with you. You're so innocent, it's cute."

Akane smiled a little, too. The conversation turned to more normal things, like family.

"I want to move out soon," Akane confessed, tilting her head up to look at the slowly darkening sky above. In truth, she had been planning on telling her mother that very same night. There were cheap apartments in the neighborhood that would more than suffice her needs. And her pay from the hospital internship would be enough to support her if she showed up to all of her classes.

Moe hummed. "There's an apartment just down the hallway from me that's open for renting. I could talk to the owner, maybe get you a discounted price."

Akane turned to her new friend with wide eyes, her mouth stretching into the widest smile Moe had ever seen on her face. "Would you really?" she squealed, throwing her arms around Moe's waist. "Thank you, thank you, and thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

Moe grinned, patting Akane's back. "It's not a problem, really. You could move in this weekend."

Akane did that exact thing. With her family and Moe's help, she was moved into her new apartment in just one day. Her mother cried, her brother gave her a quiet, bone-crushing hug, and then they left her to her unpacking.

She set up her room first, throwing her sheets into the laundry and cleaning every inch of the room before setting anything in it. Moe unpacked her clothes and organized them while Akane got started on cleaning the bathroom. Once the entire apartment was clean and her room and bathroom were completely set up, they took a break, sitting in the empty living room and laughing the afternoon away.

"So, why is your cousin such a grump anyway?" Akane finally asked. The question had been bugging her for some time. While she wasn't outgoing or extraordinarily beautiful, when she tried to make friends with someone, it was usually accepted with some degree of good will.

Moe sighed and stretched out on the floor, propping her head up with one arm and looking Akane in the face. "His parents died when he was little, when Orochimaru invaded the village. Right in front of him. I think that he feels like he should have been able to save them."

Akane took a sip of her water, leaning back on her hands when she was done. So he had lost his parents? Understanding tickled at her chest. She understood some of that grief at least.

"I want to help him," she blurted out, blushing instantly. She hadn't meant to say that out loud. Moe blinked at her before a slow smile spread across her face.

"Well, well," the blonde drawled. Akane buried her face in her hands.

"Stop being perverted, Moe-chan!" she laughed through her hands. Moe laughed as well and though Akane missed Riko, she was glad Moe was there. It felt fitting that her new friend should be at the beginning of her new life.


	3. Chapter 3

Fun fact: pink carnations represent "I'll never forget you" and cyclamen means "goodbye". This becomes relevant toward the end of the chapter lol hope you enjoy! Review please :)

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**Chapter 3**

The month slipped by quietly. Before Akane knew it, it was the end of April and it was pouring rain and she was bored.

It was twelve in the afternoon and all she had done all day was clean and listen to the rain. She glanced at her sketchbook, which lay innocently on her dresser. Moe had left it there when she had gone digging through Akane's scarves, claiming she needed one that brought out her brown eyes for a date. She'd found the book and tossed it carelessly onto the dresser, forgetting about it completely when she found the scarf she was looking for. That had been three days ago.

Akane hadn't touched it since.

She rolled out of her bed and walked over to her dresser, reaching a hand out and brushing her fingers across its textured surface. It was bound in plain, tan leather. Her father had given it to her as a gift for her twelfth birthday. Inside were drawings of animals and people she saw around the market. And drawings of her father. Her father cooking, cleaning, smiling, sleeping.

She picked the book up carefully as though it were an injured bird. Her breath came in rapid pants. Her chest constricted. Bound in those pages was her father. She hadn't opened it since the night he'd died.

She opened up a drawer and threw it into the bottom of it as though it were burning her fingers, slamming the drawer shut and raising a hand to wipe at the hot tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She wasn't ready to open it. She wasn't ready to draw. She would never draw anyone else again.

Five seconds later she was pulling on a jacket and heading out the door, barely remembering to lock it behind her. She pulled her hood up and quickened her pace to a jog. She reached the training grounds in no time with water streaming off her shoulders and drenching her pants through to the skin. She ignored the bite of the cold, even as her lungs ached from breathing it in. She practically sprinted over to the practice tree stumps. Screaming, she punched the target stump so hard her knuckles began to bleed profusely.

Then she just stood there, in the rain, cold, bleeding. Akane stared at the blood running down her hands and she wondered, not for the first time, what it felt like to die. She bet it was peaceful. And cold. And lonely. And slow.

She stood there for ten full minutes, soaked to the bone. Finally, she moved, slowly at first, then back to a jog. When her apartment building came in sight, she slowed to a walk. Akane turned her face up to the rain, allowing it to drench her face in just a few moments.

After just a few seconds, she crashed face-first into a broad, flat chest.

"Sorry!" she yelped, jumping back and wiping her wet bangs from her face. She was startled to see Yuuki staring down at her, one eyebrow raised. He, at least, had the sense to wear a black water resistant windbreaker, which was slick with rain.

"I hope you don't plan on greeting me this way every time we see each other," he said in such a flat voice, Akane wondered if he was actually joking. Then she caught on to the implications of what he had said and she blushed.

"That was you?" she gasped, hands flying to her mouth. "I'm so sorry, I don't look where I walk and sometimes I just run into people and you startled me and I was really excited after turning in my application and now I'm rambling so I'll shut up." She clamped her mouth closed.

Yuuki stared at her for several seconds before reaching out with his hand. She flinched back and he stopped, hand raised mid-air. "Your hand is bleeding," he pointed out. Akane noticed for the first time how much the torn skin stung.

"Oh, well," she began and then she stopped again. She had no idea how to explain herself. She was wearing black jogging pants and a silver hoodie that was now black and heavy with water. Her hair and face was wet; her hood had fallen back so her red hair hung around her shoulders and down her back in waves. She was a mess, while Yuuki looked his perfect self, even with rain-slicked hair and damp pants.

But there was no judgment in his eyes. Just cool curiosity. "You live just down the hall from me, right?"

She nodded mutely.

He turned around and began walking. "Come, I'll bandage your hand for you," he called over his shoulder. Akane stood, stupefied, until he was a good ten yards away before she moved, running to catch up with him.

"Yuuki-san, I swear I'm not crazy," she said after a minute. He glanced at her and she smiled until a grin curved the edges of his mouth. "I just really like the rain."

"Sounds pretty crazy to me."

She laughed, the happy sound startling her. The laugh seemed to pop some bubble in her chest, making it lighter, easier to bear.

When they arrived, she ran down the hall to change into some dry clothes first. With her wet hair tied up in a bun, she knocked on Yuuki's door timidly with her uninjured hand, wary of their newfound comradeship. He opened the door instantly but before she even took a step inside, she gaped.

His apartment, similar to her own in design, was insanely clean. She swore that the counters sparkled at her. Akane was careful to take her shoes off outside and place them neatly beside the door. She caught Yuuki's approving glance and she knew she'd made the right decision.

"Wow," she finally managed to say. "You like to be neat, I see."

Another small grin. He seemed to have a dry sense of humor, one that not many people tapped into. He gestured for her to follow him to the kitchen, where he sat her down and began cleaning the wounds with a rag. She tried her best not to wince at the pain.

"So," she began, attempting her first ever conversation with the elusive Kimura Yuuki. "How'd you do on the quiz yesterday?"

"I failed," he muttered and she almost jumped at the sound of his voice. It was low, threatening, predatory almost. "I got two whole questions wrong."

She blinked. And blinked again. And again. Then she burst out into laughter. His eyes flicked up to her, questioning and she tried to stifle her chuckles, hiding her smile behind her hand.

"Really, Yuuki-san, that's great. Most kids missed five or six. I know Moe-chan missed five herself."

"How many did you miss?"

She instantly blushed and ducked her head. His hand paused in its cleaning maneuvers. It rested atop her own hand lightly, its warmth welcome to her chilled skin. She sucked in a deep breath and finally mumbled, "None."

When she looked back up, Yuuki was staring at her so calmly she wondered if a psychotic break was eminent. He opened his mouth after a few moments and finally said, "Damn you." His voice was light though and a tiny smile curved the edges of his mouth gently upward.

She smiled back tentatively. "It was probably just a fluke, honestly, and I had to study for like five hours the night before. And I'm really fascinated by cell biology so the information sticks in my brain. I probably won't do even half as well on the chemistry section."

"Don't make excuses," he scolded her lightly, resuming his cleaning. He eyed her cuts and began to rub antibiotic ointment on them, using his thumb and going in small circles. "If you're good at what you do, then that's that. You shouldn't make yourself small to salvage someone else's ego." His eyes flicked to her face and back to her hand. "Not that I mind."

She laughed, a small quiet one, and he smiled back at her. Actually smiled.

"That's the first time I've ever seen you smile," she declared, her own grin broadening. Her chest felt lighter at seeing him smile. Perhaps he was human after all.

He shrugged, unrolling the bandages. Then he stopped and turned to her, mouth open slightly.

She raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to speak.

"Why didn't you just heal this yourself? Why didn't I just heal this myself?"

They stared at each other for a few moments before she broke down into hysterical giggles and he pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. When she finally sobered, he was looking at her with that same cool, curious gaze.

"Why did you punch a wall or stump or whatever it was? And why didn't you heal it?"

She wasn't sure what it was. Perhaps it was the way he was looking at her, like nothing she said would change anything. Maybe it was the way his hand lingered near hers. Maybe it was how the skin around his eyes squinted when he smiled. But whatever it was, she found herself blurting, "I wanted to feel something."

She held her breath and looked away, cursing herself silently. What kind of an idiot was she?

Ten kinds, to be completely honest. Or maybe a hundred.

The silence didn't stretch on, not like in all of those novels and movies. He merely blinked and said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head furiously and he shrugged. "Then we won't talk about it."

He passed his hand over hers and a soothing green light enveloped them. Akane watched, fascinated, as the skin knit itself back together effortlessly, not even leaving a scar. She never failed to be amazed by the healing capabilities of chakra. "Thanks," she murmured. Somehow, they both knew it wasn't just for the healing.

She washed her hands to scrub off the dried blood before bidding Yuuki farewell and leaving quietly. The rain still thundered on. Slipping into her apartment, she collapsed into her desk chair with her notebook and textbook, biting her lip as she memorized all the different ways tumors formed in the body. She refused to look at the drawer that had started all of this. Her shoulders curved forward with exhaustion and despite her best efforts, her conversation with Yuuki found its way into her thoughts. She was tired, so very, very tired. She wanted for forget that this day had ever happened.

She only rose twice, once to go to the bathroom and the second time to make herself coffee. Before she knew it, she was blinking at her clock, which read 4:23 AM. She sighed and stretched, feeling and hearing her bones give satisfactory pops. She crawled into bed slowly, curling up under the covers. She drew a book from her pillowcase and a pen from her nightstand, scribbling the messy words as she lay down, squinting in the dark.

_Hey, Dad. It's been a while. I got into the program. I hope you're proud. I miss you. I found the sketchbook today on accident and I wanted to hurl myself into a river. Will it ever stop hurting?_

She stopped. She looked at the barely legible words and rubbed her eyes angrily. Akane hadn't written in the journal for three months. And now, after some five second conversation with a guy she barely knew, she found herself wanting to pour herself into the pages like she had when she was a lonely 15 year old.

But no. Not now. She was eighteen years old now. It had been four years. She was fine. She didn't need the stupid journal her brother had shoved at her with dark eyes. "You need it," he had said, eyeing her eye circles and slipping mouth.

If one conversation with Yuuki could do this, could turn her into an aching little kid again, what would five conversations do? She felt hollow, as though she had given everything in her to that stump when she threw her first at it. She stared out her window at the rain. Thunder rumbled. It was a typical storm. Very much like that last storm. The last one she had been in with her father. They'd been caught on their way home from the market. He'd splashed in all the puddles, drenching her, and she had laughed her heart out.

The next night, he was dead.

Akane woke up four hours later to a pounding on her door. Shoving her journal under her bed, she stumbled to her feet.

"Whoever you are, do you have any idea what time it is?" she moaned as she opened the door.

Riko smiled at her, just arrived from her most recent mission judging by the flak vest and sweat dripping down the sides of her round face.

"Morning!" she chirped, skipping on in and pushing her way past Akane, who stumbled to the side with a yawn. She removed her shoes and shoved them to the side before collapsing on Akane's couch. Akane closed the door slowly, rubbing at her tired eyes. "You look like hell," Riko commented.

Akane sank to the floor beside the couch. She pulled her knees up and rested her head on top of them, stifling a sob. "Ko-chan," she whimpered. Her long-time friend slid from the couch onto the ground beside her, putting her arms around her red-haired, currently exhausted, friend. She wasn't exactly surprised. There were only two nights of the year that Akane truly fell apart on; the eve of her father's birthday and the anniversary of his death. Riko had been expecting this. So she pressed her lips to her friend's temple and stood, making her way to the small kitchen.

"Tell me everything. I'll make you some tea."

So she did. She told Riko about the day before, about the screaming and the punch and the boy. The stupid blue eyed boy who didn't expect anything from her. Her chest twisted as she talked about him. Yuuki had become precious to her in their short conversation. He had become someone she could trust. And that scared her. He was her biggest rival. Her friend.

When she was done, she sipped at her cooling tea quietly while Riko sat across from her and munched on celery. She had loved the vegetable since she was a kid. Akane always kept a stash around.

"It's today, right?" Riko asked. Akane nodded.

Her father's birthday. He would have been 53. Barely into his middle ages.

"C'mon," Riko suddenly said, standing. Akane took her hand and stood as well, tipping her head to the side, slightly confused.. "Let's go visit him. Wouldn't want him to be lonely on his birthday, now would we?"

So they went. The sky was still gray. A few drops fell here and there. Akane shivered despite the fact that the air was still somewhat warm. All she had to wear was a thin blue sweater.

His tombstone was simple. It read, _Beloved Father and Husband_. Loved and missed by all who knew him. Below it was his name and years of life.

Akane set down the pink carnations and red-purple cyclamen she had picked on the way there. Riko moved away, reading other tombstones, leaving the father and daughter to talk in their one-sided way.

"Hey, Dad," she said quietly, voice already breaking. "Happy birthday. I, um, I wrote to you last night. I miss you a lot. I wish you could meet my friend Moe-chan. She's really nice." She rambled on about her classes and moving out. After half an hour of nonsensical talking, she finally paused, biting her lip. "I love you, okay? I love you like the clouds love the sky."

Her throat closed as she stared at the slightly worn, gray-white tombstone. The grief was heavy, drowning her bones. She wanted to curl up beside the stone and sleep forever. She kneeled and brushed some grass off of its face. Her anger had long since faded, giving way to an aching sort of sadness that hurt to even think about.

She kept her tears to a minimum. She bid her father farewell. She and Riko headed to her mother's house arm in arm, telling old childhood stories and remembering misadventures. Takeshi welcomed them without surprise, his smile faltering a little more than usual. Riko sauntered in, hollering greetings to Kazuki while Akane stayed behind to speak to her brother.

"I went and saw him today," she admitted quietly. She remembered sunny days spent together at his gravesite. But it had been a long time since either had gone. He nodded once. "I think this day is harder than the other anniversary. He loved his birthday."

Another nod.

She slipped her arms around her taller brother. He squeezed her back for a long moment and that's how she knew that her grief was being shared. She sighed into his bony shoulder, hot tears pricking at the corners of her eyes as her brother's comfort surrounded her, soothed her.

He rubbed her back up and down before releasing her and brushing the hair out of her pale, strained face.

"He would want us to celebrate," he murmured and she nodded.

After all, their father had loved his birthday.


End file.
